That NPC You Ignored Is Dead



Didn't think that side mission was important enough to complete? Well now you have to live with the moral implications of your actions for the rest of your pathetic life, because that non playable character who was relying on you is dead.

Images Leak Of Seth Rogen's Donkey Kong In Super Mario Bros. Movie



Immediately after a Nintendo Direct revealed details pertaining to 2022's new Super Mario Bros movie, leaked images surfaced of Seth Rogen's rendition of Donkey Kong — behind the scenes and in-render!

Metroid Dread Coming Oct. 8 2021



You'd print this as a magazine spread if it were 2001, wouldn't ya Ninty? Hire fans lol.

 

 

This Aint No NCIS Miami


 

TV taught me nothin! 


Now that I have your attention, fuck you Ubisoft. Bring back Splinter Cell, and it better have Michael Ironside seducing the pants off me every time he sticks a syringe up himself to recover. EEEOOOOOWWHHH!!!!

Title Screen That Says 'Press Start' Really Means It


For some, the title screen is an indicator of the experience to come and should be past with little resistance. For others, it should be worshiped and respected, passed only on certain terms.

Video Game '12 Minutes' Longer Than 12 Minutes


 

When we first embarked on writing this pointless article, our main concern was that the game "12 Minutes" had a duration considerably longer that 12 minutes. We still feel that it's a sickening injustice which should face the full extent of the law, however what the hell is going on with the protagonist's arm here???

 

They say a limp wrist is a sure-fire way of diagnosing incest. Hmm...

 


Dark Souls Director Says "Series Is Easy; You All Suck"




From Software's Hidetaka Miyazaki of Dark Souls fame has sensationally lamented the ability of gamers playing his games, stating that he's astonished anyone finds them even remotely difficult.

Nintendo Apologises For Switch Online With More Titles

 

Nintendo has responded to scrutiny regarding their subpar Switch Online update by announcing another 6 titles which the company assures is 'nothing but BANGERS'.

Remembering 'Gettin Shiggy With It'


It's been 24 years since Nintendo successfully propelled its own in-house superstar into the wacky world of J-pop. Mario and Zelda creator Shigeru Miyamoto's cover/remix of 'Gettin Jiggy Wit It' managed to sell over 64 million records, becoming Nintendo's top selling release at the time. Let's celebrate by analyzing the lyrical changes from Will Smith's original masterpiece made for the video game hungry Japanese market during the Nintendo 64's heyday.

Cinematic Trailer Enough For Moron To Place Pre-Order



An idiotic gamer susceptible to basic marketing ploys has again fallen trap to a giant publisher, after being convinced by a 30 second cinematic trailer to pre-order a game that hasn't revealed any game-play footage.