Geoff Keighley Quits 'The Game Awards' To Become Hideo Kojima's Hype Man


 

After several years of refuting speculation, Geoff Keighley has quit video game media to blow Hideo Kojima's immediate future achievements out of proportion full time.

New Boxed Arcade1UP Cabinet Only Contains 5 Defects




While the video game industry seems to be nothing but doom and gloom recently, somehow, against all odds, a brand new Arcade1UP cabinet has shipped and sold with only a few defects!

Weekend Antics Have Started Early It Seems

This is going to become a lot worse before it gets better. #Superliminal.

 

   

Sony Trinitron CRT Vintage Retro Video Game Television For Sale — Classifieds


 

We have the holy grail of classic video game televisions for sale at a very reasonable price and in immaculate condition. You don't want to miss this classifieds listing!

That NPC You Ignored Is Dead



Didn't think that side mission was important enough to complete? Well now you have to live with the moral implications of your actions for the rest of your pathetic life, because that non playable character who was relying on you is dead.

Images Leak Of Seth Rogen's Donkey Kong In Super Mario Bros. Movie



Immediately after a Nintendo Direct revealed details pertaining to 2022's new Super Mario Bros movie, leaked images surfaced of Seth Rogen's rendition of Donkey Kong — behind the scenes and in-render!

Metroid Dread Coming Oct. 8 2021



You'd print this as a magazine spread if it were 2001, wouldn't ya Ninty? Hire fans lol.

 

 

This Aint No NCIS Miami


 

TV taught me nothin! 


Now that I have your attention, fuck you Ubisoft. Bring back Splinter Cell, and it better have Michael Ironside seducing the pants off me every time he sticks a syringe up himself to recover. EEEOOOOOWWHHH!!!!

Title Screen That Says 'Press Start' Really Means It


For some, the title screen is an indicator of the experience to come and should be past with little resistance. For others, it should be worshiped and respected, passed only on certain terms.

Video Game '12 Minutes' Longer Than 12 Minutes


 

When we first embarked on writing this pointless article, our main concern was that the game "12 Minutes" had a duration considerably longer that 12 minutes. We still feel that it's a sickening injustice which should face the full extent of the law, however what the hell is going on with the protagonist's arm here???

 

They say a limp wrist is a sure-fire way of diagnosing incest. Hmm...