Red Ring Of Death (RROD) Returns For Series X


In a move that is set to disrupt the race for next-gen supremacy, Microsoft has continued to push on the front foot against Sony, revealing the bold return of an infamous feature that is sure to win back market share.

The Xbox 360 was a successful console for Microsoft, selling 84 million consoles in its lifetime. It wasn't without some sizeable caveats for consumers though, and none were larger than the now infamous Red Ring of Death (RROD).

The RROD is a general hardware failure which is believed to have affected as many as 54% of original model Xbox 360 owners and is signified by 3 quarters of the system's ring indicator illuminating red. The failure occurs due to a design flaw, where too many components are crammed into a tight ergonomic form factor, causing the system to overheat. As the 360 was strategically rushed to market, internal testing was compromised, allowing the fault to remain.


Consumers decided to accept RROD issues for some reason.

 
Microsoft isn't letting a US$1.5 billion loss at the hands of the RROD deter them though, as the company has strangely announced that they are deliberately replicating the design flaw with their next console (Series X) in a desperate attempt to regain market share after seven disastrous years with the Xbox One.

"The Red Ring Of Death issue pushed the Xbox 360 to its absolute limit and our internal review suggests that it was the sole benefactor to the system's immense success. We're looking to replicate that with the SeXbox. I mean, who doesn't love a bleeding red ring right? *laughs*" Said Xbox Head Phil Spencer.

"We know you expect the next generation of consoles to set new standards in graphical power and processing speed, converging together in games that look incredible and feel alive. This will be defined by worlds that are visually astounding and immediately immersive, with innovative leaps in CPU, GPU and storage technology. The only way we can achieve this is by jamming all of that shit in as compact of a form factor as possible, with no room for efficient airflow.

"You're going to have the best video game console ever created. It's just going to only last for exactly 12 months, where the Series X will then over heat and internally melt, agonisingly close but unfortunately past its 12 month warranty."

"The reason for the Xbox 360's success is now obvious after our failings with the Xbox One. The best way to increase sales is to force our loyal fan-base to buy at least two or three of the same console due to hardware failures. You don't think you will, BUT YOU WILL. You already bought all of those games, 3 years of Game Pass and about 5 Xbox controllers. It would be stupid to jump ship now."


12 months of value.



"Oh you thought there was a comprehensive cooling duct on top of the Series X? That's a grater, just like the latest Apple Mac Pro. Our fans could probably shave some of their dick cheese on it."

We wouldn't normally believe those snarky words of Phil Spencer, but unfortunately one of the load bearing walls of Era Error's office is built with useless RROD'd Xbox 360's owned by our staff. I really wish I didn't get all of those years of GamePass for dirt cheap during a recent promotion. Would be stupid not to buy a Series X to make the most of that, right?