Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Revealed as Master Chief

Microsoft and 343 Industries are in damage control after the identity of Halo's Master Chief leaked ahead of the upcoming live action series' release on Paramount + later this year.

343 Industries CEO Bonnie Ross has addressed the leaks, stressing that fans have nothing to fear.

"After literally fucking up every single game in the Halo franchise that we've had our hands on until now, we knew that it was critical to ensure Halo continues its positive position in the marketplace. Instead of focusing on pushing delayed game modes such as Co-Op and Forge out the door, we made the obvious decision to prioritize hiring Dwayne 'John-117' Johnson for the role of Master Chief in our upcoming Halo live action series for Paramount +."

No one can smell what the Rock is cookin' in space.


"Initially we were going to keep Iron Chef's identity a secret until players completed Infinite on legendary to trigger an exclusive cut-scene. However we knew fans would much rather encounter the blockbuster revelation through a different medium that the Sorcerer King felt more comfortable appearing in first. Unfortunately the leak has ruined this wonderful surprise for people."


"Fans have also been quite vocal about their disappointment regarding the lore of Halo: The Series not becoming canon. After much reflection, we've decided to swallow our pride and reverse that decision. In a future update to Halo Infinite and Halo: The Master Chief collection, All of Steve Downes' original dialogue will be replaced with one liners directly ripped from Dwayne's movie and wrestling career."


Dwayne 'John Connor - Terminator' Johnson shared Bonnie Ross's sentiment:

"I've loved appearing in absolutely everything while giving the exact same half-assed performance for over 20+ years, and Halo: The Series will be no different. As long as Bill Gates sends me a juicy pay cheque and keeps my name off the Epstein list leaks, I'll do anything." 


I've been a massive fan of Gears of War since I first saw the original Sony Saturn arcade cabinet in my local dry cleaner in 1991. I remember stealing some quarters from the passed out homeless scum lying on the front of the building only to waste them all on the first jump in the game. If you've seen me acting in other video game properties like DOOM & Rampage, you'll know I'm going to give Green Robot Sewer Turtle the best slice of Pizza Hut Pepperoni he's ever had."

"We're taking the Halo Universe to places it's never gone before." - 343 Industries


The Halo franchise has suffered waning critical opinion since the release of Halo 4 in 2012, but after nearly a decade of identity crises and controversy, it appears 343 Industries has found that perfect level of corporate meddling to push Halo into the mainstream limelight once again.