Google Purchases Konami — Exclusively For Stadia


Despite signaling intentions to wind down and restructure their cloud-gaming technology, Google has given Stadia one last chance at redemption, by acquiring Konami's gaming division for US$5 Billion.


As COVID-19 extends its pursuit of destruction on an already fractured global economy, video game conglomerates have taken the opportunity to accumulate more companies to their already disgustingly large portfolios. Acquisitions are not a new concept in the video game space. However, purchases ranging from billions to TENS of billions certainly is. Whether it be Sony grabbing Bungie for 3 billion, Take 2 sniping Zynga for 12 billion, or Microsoft sucking up Bethesda for 7 billion and of course Activision for nearly 70 billion, many have speculated who would be next.


No other company is mentioned more in those discussions than Konami. The once prominent Japanese gaming juggernaut of the 80's and 90's has seen its core business restructured into pachinko machines and health clubs since the late 2000's, leaving its wealth of gaming properties to rot in the shadows. 


"Oh, if only a mega company would pick up Konami's gaming division and revive their dormant franchises!" We've all thought at some point.

Be careful what you wish for. Enter Google.

A company that needs no introduction, Google tried to brute force its way into the incredibly fickle gaming space by launching an innovative cloud service that runs games on remote servers rather than hardware in customers homes. Unfortunately due to ridiculous price structuring and technical requirements that priced out their demographic of potential customers, Stadia never gained momentum, surprising no one privy to any foresight of the industry.

Rumors suggest that Google is looking to re-purpose the technology into other avenues to re-coup losses, but before they do, they've decided to have one last shot in the dark — becoming one of the very few companies people wanted to purchase Konami's gaming division for US$5 Billion.



"Introducing the newest portfolio to impress Google Stadia's intimidating userbase of 2000 people, please welcome Konami and their 50+ years history of games to our platform — EXCLUSIVELY."

"That's right. Everyone called us names and bullied the brand during our tenuous 2 years on the market, but who's laughing now, huh? We've seen the discourse online. People want to see Konami games back on modern platforms. Well now you've got them in the most exploitative way possible. Our upcoming roadmap is sure to entice players to our eco-system in droves in typical Google style."



Well, at least they're honest.