After a recent play through of EA's 1997 cult classic Need For Speed 2, a liberated twenty-six year old man has taken to social media to vocalise his outrage over several offensive inconsistencies contained within the game. The concerns largely arose from the irresponsible misuse of real life locales which are now the centerpiece of a campaign to punish all involved with the original project.
The revelations first occurred to Josh Tailer immediately after completing the Australian track in the Special Edition and his rage quickly exacerbated.
I have vast recollections of Need For Speed 2 stemming from my younger years of sleeping over a friend's house and watching their clueless Dad constantly play it instead of actually hanging out with my real friends. I'm not even sure their Dad realised I was in the room with him until his children would run in and constantly call me a fucking loser. Said Josh.
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| "I wish this little kid would fuck off so I could jerk off to some porn!" - Friend's Dad |
Harking back to those memories, I recently decided to boot up the crap game again to blaze on some nostalgia. Instead of a fond experience, my incredibly fragile mind was in severe pain and offended. I initially chose to race on 'Outback' and what an absolutely convoluted pile of fuck that was! One second you're going over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and seconds later you're flying through Uluru and pulling massive burnouts on sacred land. It's despicably racist!! I think the developers deserve to die for the disrespect they've inflicted on all the soft white people who are aggrieved on behalf of minorities who didn't even care in the first place.
The racism didn't just stop in the Boomerang chucking country either. 'Last Resort' made light of South American geography by shoving a bunch of random shit in close proximity, 'Monolithic Studios' included UFO's and T-Rex's which contradicts the fictitious beliefs of brainwashed idiots like myself, the Caucasian only landmarks of 'Pacific Spirit' vilifies First Nation's people and the piss easy Norway circuit 'Proving Grounds' is so generic, it's obvious no one could be fucked to research that boring country. I could go on.
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| Tailer claims this is an authentic photo of the development team circa 1997. |
There's no denying times have changed since the primitive, racist era of 1997. I've reached out to several key figures related to the cultures hurt by this disgusting old video game in the aim to annihilate all the scum involved in its development. It's been three months and no one has responded to my calls yet, but I guarantee it's because they're just coming up with a cohesive plan to burn these fuckers to a cross.
What has occurred is an atrocity to mankind. I know the game is no longer available for purchase, but more consequences needs to be had. I've prayed to God several times now to kill these bastards with lightning and I fully expect him to come through with the goods. After all, acting like scum is ok if it's your side of the political spectrum who's committing the crimes.
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| "Driving through Uluru in a harmless, crappy, old, fantasy video game is racist!" - Josh Tailer |
We reached out to the God of the ERRORverse (Publishing Gamer God) to see if he had any intentions of fulfilling Josh's prayers.
Fuck that. The little prick doesn't understand that I gave the developers a strict deadline which was impossible to meet so they had no choice but to create unrealistic courses. That fuckwit needs to overdose on some Xanax and chill a bit as no one gives a flying fuck about any pain the game injected into his droopy clit. In fact, just to piss that loser off, I'm going to re-upload Need For Speed 2 SE to Origin, set the price to free and place an ad on the front page so even more people will see the abysmally shit track design!
Take this you little cunt mwahahahahaha!!!!
Josh Tailer was shocked to find that his requested lightning was instead aimed at his direction, but was still certain that God must have simply made a mistake.
It's pretty obvious that Satan must have tricked God into targeting me instead of Electronic Arts. I won't let that deter me from praying to him every 15 minutes as I just know it was a simple error. He must be absolutely shocked and appalled that NFS 2 SE recently re-appeared for online sale. What a horrible coincidence!
Era Error will continue to report on Josh Tailer's ridiculous, hypocrisy filled gaming related prayers as they're made in the future.
