Michael Schumacher Gamer Chairs Come With Seat Belt


The estate of Formula One racing legend Michael Schumacher has commissioned a series of gaming chairs with a sturdy seatbelt attached that are set to become an integral part of any angry gamer setup.

Gamer chairs have come in many shapes in sizes over the years. Since the rise of video game streaming with the launch of Twitch in 2012, their designs have somewhat formulated through corporate sponsorships and advertisements through popular streamers. As of 2021, most gamer chairs are reminiscent of a bucket racing car seat, which incorporates comfort with modern sensibilities over long periods of time.

Unfortunately our favourite pastime of mashing buttons is known to create incessant rage within many users. As tantrums come to a head through unfortunate luck or god damn fucking lag (and definitely not our own indiscretions), destructing ones' expensive equipment can appear to be a source of relief, only to exacerbate the issue.

The new Michael Schumacher series of gaming chairs looks to remedy the problem while also appealing to the ergonomic standard that gamers have come to love, by offering a racing seat inspired gaming chair that includes a lockable seat belt that can withstand force up to 1000lb.

 Even the more innocent games can be the most rage inducing.



"After everything Michael Schumacher has gone through, he understands that safety is to the utmost importance. Formula 1 racing and skiing are incredibly hazardous, but nothing eclipses the dangers of gaming while finding yourself stuck on the same boss and dying for the thousandth time in a row, only for your girlfriend to appear in the room to tell you to chill while standing in front of your screen during the non-pausable and therefore un-savable scenario, which completely disregarded your past 4 hours of suffering to get to that moment."

"For this reason we've included an industrial strength ratchet strap that attaches directly to the gamer chair which acts as a seat belt, restraining a psychotic gamer until they've calmed down. In home testing of the Michael Schumacher Gamer Chair has been a resounding success. Several hundred computer monitors were saved and not one hole in the wall was reported. The only incident that occured involved one subject jumping out of his 20th story apartment window while attached to our product, but that was just an anomaly."



Michael Schumacher is said to be incredibly passionate about the project, as his son is actually the angry German kid who went nuts over Unreal Tournament all the way back in 2004. The Schumacher range of gamer chairs will be available this summer and are available in a variety of tasteful colours, including Ferrari Red and Ski Crash White.