Cinematic Trailer Enough For Moron To Place Pre-Order

An idiotic gamer susceptible to basic marketing ploys has again fallen trap to a giant publisher, after being convinced by a 30 second cinematic trailer to pre-order a game that hasn't revealed any game-play footage.


The person in question is a stereotypical middle-class male in their late twenties who had recently become enamored by purchasing cryptocurrencies on their high and is an avid fan of filthy market manipulator & con-artist Elon 'Apartheid' Musk.

"The second that cinematic only trailer finished, I immediately placed a pre-order for the stupidly over-priced collectors edition because I'm a real fan. I mean, there's no way this unproven franchise could possibly fail from greedy corporate meddling or inexperienced, over ambitious developers. I don't need to see any game-play either now that I've seen top rate CGI that sucked up over 90% of production costs!" 


We remember you.


"I'm such a good boy, aren't I master? Now that revenue is confirmed, please allocate resources away from development and don't be afraid to never explain why elements that were seen in the CGI trailer are absent in the final game despite your zero intentions of including them anyway. I like it when you hurt me. it feels so good!"

 Annnnd you...


The game in question launched 3 days early to avoid cancelled pre-orders from scathing reviews and received a critic meta-score of 20. As an online multi-player only title that consisted entirely of escort missions, the game was shut down after two weeks when its user base dropped to single digits. Stores also refused to accept trade-ins of the game and developed policies to instantly call the police on customers who tried to do so.

Did we mention that Cliffy B and Peter Molyneux were co-creators and the publisher was a newly reformed Robomodo? The game was Daikatana 2: Fragget Munch.