Yuji Naka Blames Balan Wonderworld On His Children

The man behind beloved Sega classics such as Sonic The Hedgehog and NiGHTS Into Dreams has blamed the woes of his latest title squarely on his young children.



Balan Wonderworld was supposed to be Square Enix's answer to Super Mario Odyssey. Despite sharing many (extremely) similar traits and having legendary ex-Sega programmer/producer Yuji Naka on board, the game was incredibly harshly reviewed by critics, and has become lambasted by the greater gaming community.

There's no doubt the game had potential. Unfortunately an eclectic atmosphere and colourful characters were hampered by dull mechanics and asinine gameplay decisions. Fans have every right to be disappointed, particularly as Yuji Naka has proven himself more than capable with the genre in the past. So what went wrong?

Well... not everything was a home run for Yuji



Was the game a simple cash grab on Square Enix's behalf? Maybe Yuji Naka simply lost his touch? Neither are so, according to the Sonic The Hedgehog programmer. He has completely distanced himself from the trainwreck, placing the blame on his kids.



"I was happy making crappy mobile games that addicted idiots with gambling mechanics to pad my retirement fund, but nooooo, my damn children had to keep pushing me to make another platformer." Whined Yuki Naka.

"My kids were relentless. 'Fuck off would you, I don't give a crap! 3D Platformers are for nostalgia snorters with no future. Do you want to be one of those losers?' I'd tell them repeatedly."



"Unfortunately after a month of harassment I eventually succumbed to their demands."

"The first half of development went extremely well. Our team created a game plan that had exceptional vision — wondrous characters, art, sound and an esthetic looking nothing short of spectacular. I really thought Balan Wonderworld had the potential to become a franchise that will see me live out a wealthy retirement. All that remained was the refinement of game-play systems. But then Covid happened... and trying to work from home."



"My kids returned to their obnoxious ways while I was there. "Put this in the game Daddy. Add another  pointless costume that does the exact same thing as the other one but worse! Make the game one button only for simps! The collectable systems aren't frustrating enough! I like it when the controls are unresponsive. Delete that stupid story! Make this game fucking shit Daddy. Rush it out the door and suck Square Enix's funding dry for your retirement!"



"If gamers are looking for someone to blame for Balan Wonderworld, you now know where to look. It's definitely not because I'm a dinosaur and my methods are stuck in the past!"

Not sure it's a great idea to hide from the wild vultures that are gamers behind your children Yuji, but sure. You do you.

Balan Wonderworld sold 37 million copies worldwide in its first week, due to what can only be presumed as stoners baking themselves thoroughly during lock-down and looking for something to laugh at.


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