PS5 Is Literally Two PS4's Duct Taped Together


Coming off the recent reveal of the strikingly familiar PS5 logo, Sony has showcased the chassis of the system, which appears to again borrow heavily from the current generation.

Sony has been devoid of concrete details regarding the specs and design of its upcoming next generation console. Despite the PS5's scheduled release during the holiday period of this year, the only media the company has officially shared is the logo, which has a striking resemblance of this generation's incarnation.

Although arrogantly admitting they're waiting for Microsoft to embarrass themselves before revealing their hand, it appeared Sony seemed content with their mute strategy for the foreseeable future. Until today, where an unknown employee succumbed to fan pressure for information, posting a bizarre social media rant on the official Playstation Facebook page.

"For the love of god, would you annoying nerd fucks please stop @ing Sony and Playstation to every single one of your constant crybaby rants about a lack of PS5 details if I leak a bit of info???"

 
"Not one Sony employee can figure out why grown people seem to care so much about the appearance of a logo or shape of a system designed to be played by little children, but here we are." 


"If you haven't noticed, we're recycling ideas next generation. We'd be stupid to innovate when all of our forecasts suggests complete dominance in the market for the brand, so we decided to literally duct tape two PS4's together."


Sony is using state of the art components for the PS5.





 
"Power button this, HDMI port that. Stop worrying about high tech specs that none of you understand. Rest assured, we're only using state of the art components in the PS5. For instance, the duct tape holding the two PS4's into one harmonious package is crafted by 3M. [the best in the business]  What, you thought we were joking about the duct tape? It worked incredibly well for the Nintendo Wii!"

"Listen! Stop being defiant! You're going to buy our console and we're going to make a fuck-ton of money, whether you like it or not."


Sony is giving their Dick Wand controller a new push, due to an abundance of left over stock in their Chinese warehouse.



 
It appears that Sony may be looking to completely replicate a move straight out of Nintendo's 2006 playbook with the Wii, where the company famously duct-taped two GameCube's together to create the system and paired it with a Dildo shaped controller, which sold 100 million systems. The Playstation brand is nearing heights not seen since the PS2 in the early 2000's, and with such market share, becomes arrogance. Could we see a repeat of the disastrous PS3 launch? Probably not.