Title Screen That Says 'Press Start' Really Means It

For some, the title screen is an indicator of the experience to come and should be past with little resistance. For others, it should be worshiped and respected, passed only on certain terms.

That's exactly what many gamers face on a regular basis — A terrible tragedy that is only now receiving the exposure it truly deserves. An unsung killer, lurking in the darkness. Oh, I can't hold it back any more. This expose must be said and expelled at the top of my lungs for the strong and most vulnerable to hear in unison!

The title screen for some games, (even dating back to the 1970's) requires the start button and the start button alone to pass to the next screen.

Felt like at least one of the controller's face buttons would allow speedy progression to dive into your game without interruption? Perhaps the select button took you fancy this time around? Normally any button input would be suffice for players to engage with their content as quick as possible, but sometimes there's a deranged UI designer who only lets gamers play games on their terms.



"I tried pressing X and all of the face buttons, held Select and tapped R3 five times. I even choked on one of the handles to no avail. The frigid UI designer hiding behind this facade would simply not allow me to pass into the main menu. I think there's something serious which is undiagnosed with them. Actually maybe they are aware, because this crime was especially heinous." Said one unemployed gamer spending tax payer money on unnecessary entertainment.



 The answer was Start.



A UI designer who wishes to name anonymous — most likely to avoid embarrassment for being an absolute spud-cake — explains why they force the exclusive press of the start button at title screens.



"Well it's my game and a free market, I can force people to do whatever I want! It's my god given right to ruin people's favourite things and all they can do is find something else before scum like me ruins that and the process repeats."

"Things are the way they are for a reason, and I have a perfectly valid excuse for why I require the start button to be pressed. No it's NOT because I fear players accidentally skipping through corporate and intro videos into the main game. It's because I'm morbidly obese, don't shower, sit in a broken chair all day and I'm a narcissist. That's right, I'm better than you; Even when I'm hungry but resort to eating a healthy chunk of dick cheese from my foreskin for sustenance."



"Sometimes the glory of my perfectly curated title screen deserves recognition, and it's within my immense power to restrict your movement when you step into my realm. You submit to me when you press start. From then on, you're my slave, and I am god."



Not startling at all. If you feel like you know who this UI designer may be, please contact crime stoppers immediately. We don't have any concrete proof that they are a predator, but I bet they have some 'interesting' material saved on their hard drive.