Dark Souls Director Says "Series Is Easy; You All Suck"

From Software's Hidetaka Miyazaki of Dark Souls fame has sensationally lamented the ability of gamers playing his games, stating that he's astonished anyone finds them even remotely difficult.


Miyazaki along with From Software found international fame in the 2010's with the Souls franchise. A third person RPG series that focused on rewarding trial and error game-play, hearkened back to the relentless mechanics of a by-gone era which resonated with modern players. The company also took this philosophy with other games such as Bloodborne & Sekiro to great success.


A general consensus believes the allure of recent From Software titles stems from their immense difficulty, as game-play segments require several failed attempts to understand and complete. However that claim seems to completely contradict the opinion of Souls' series director Hidetaka Miyazaki, who states that he designed the games to be brain dead easy.


"I'm very happy with my recent financial gain, but I'd be lying if the success didn't feel hollow considering the ideology of my games has been completely misconstrued by dumb fucks who don't understand what I was trying to achieve."
Says Miyazaki.


 Miyazaki is known to assault fans who openly suck at his games.

"The reason the Souls/Bourne/Sekiro games appear to be so relentless, is because I didn't think anyone would die due to the ridiculously easy game-play, therefore I didn't design any decent quality of life mechanics. Initially during development, Demon Souls was actually an educational kids game but due to the stupidity of the new generation of children, I was forced to change the aesthetic to please an older demographic."


"To my dismay, most adults are also too thick to excel in my games, even taking pride in how many attempts it took to complete. There's no pride in failure. You weren't supposed to die at all you fucking losers. The reason there aren't any difficulty settings is because you're already playing on the easiest 'inbred baby' setting by default."


 Miyazaki's original death message before the publisher stepped in.

"All I wanted to do was create relaxing video games for absolutely exhausted people who are looking for a couch and chill experience — even after k-holing from ketamine and sucking too many cones out of their bongs. Seeing as the whole world is struggling with the difficulty of my games, I have failed my mission and brought great shame on From Software, my family and mother Japan."


"At the end of the day, if you die in one my games, remember this: You're fucking shit, I hate you and you should give up on all of your dreams. Even though I don't want it, your low IQ soul is mine."

Truly inspiring words by Miyazaki-san. We'd try and complete a flawless run of Demon Souls as a mark of respect, but I've already headbutted our office's $1500 scalped PS5 to death in a fit of rage from the latest remake.