Raunchy Pilotwings Instructors Dishonourably Discharged

Great shame was brought upon Nintendo's highly prestigious "Flight Club" today, as details have emerged of skilled instructors Tony and Shirley recklessly committing sexual intercourse during a regulation session with a player on board trying to pass Class A.

Leading instructor of the academy, Big Al was absolutely disgusted with the actions of the pair, and had no hesitation in discharging them.

"Nintendo's intense Political Correctness Police have constantly hounded this establishment for nearly 3 decades and I've done my best to hide the raunchiness of my talented staff, but this was just too far. I gave them every chance to rectify their actions, but after watching on the cock-pit camera for over 90 minutes, I had to intervene."

We've all known that Shirley is a flirt with our students, but her record is no coincidence which makes her sacking the hardest pill to swallow. Tony on the other hand, might be skilled and seem like he's gentle mannered, but he's actually an asshole after work hours so I'm not really sorry to see that prick go.

Another superior of the disgraced pair, the mysterious Lance is also shocked by Tony and Shirley's actions.

"I don't know why Shirley would pick that douche Tony to do it with. I've been hitting on her in six different languages since she arrived to the Flight Club and this is how she repays me? I'm a former Air Force Pilot for Christ's sake. What more do you want?"

Oh get over it Lance!

The lingering question left is whether Player 1 on board will be pressing charges against The Flight Club after his unprofessional experience with Pilotwings on the SNES.

"I was given full marks due to the incident and witnessed a hardcore sex scene more graphic than anything I've seen on the internet so there will be no complaints from me."

Since the publishing of the embarrassing news, Tony and Shirley have released a short, joint statement to the world.

"After Shirley and I (Tony) were dismissed from Nintendo's Pilotwings Flight Club, we have decided to defect to a more mature brand that is less kiddy and has a more hardcore demographic. Our services can now be found on After Burner 2 on Sega Genesis."