Bethesda Fanboys Forced To Exclusively Cry For Elder Scrolls Sequel

A large segment of Bethesda Softwork's fan base has been left in disarray after the company decided to announce a new title in the popular Fallout series last week, leaving said fans in distress.

Over the past 3 years, 'fans' of Bethesda's 2 biggest franchises – Fallout & The Elder Scrolls have congregated in the comments section of every social media post made by the company to throw tantrums and complain about the lack of announcements regarding their favourite games. Tensions have risen as each day passes towards the arrival of E3, and as Bethesda reveals new titles in unrelated series to those that the relentless crybabies are asking for, their comments have become more hostile.

These pathetic comments took about 5 seconds to accumulate

Head of Bethesda Game Studio's Todd Howard has addressed the issue, releasing this statement earlier today:

"I dead set fucking hate all of you fuckwit fans! I swear you're all a bunch of gimps and I wish you were all dead! That way, when I wake up in the morning and check Bethesda's social feeds, I won't be inundated with a bunch of cuck comments regarding the video game series' we own. Go to fucking school, go to fucking work and worry about more important shit that actually matters!

Todd Howard has finally snapped.

What really pushed me and the other cunts making our games to the edge, is when we tried to please you whining pussies by announcing a new Fallout game, instead of praise, we were inundated with more fucking complaints! 'Where's Elder Scrolls?' 'We want another Elder Scrolls!' 'Give me Elder Scrolls or I'll be mad!' Well the only Elder Scrolls you'll all be getting is an Elder shoving his Scroll up your Nan's droopy slit!

You're all so spasticated that you don't even realise Bethesda owns different developers making different games other than ours. When the company announces a new game like Rage 2 - developed by ID and Avalanche - it's not slowing the pace of development on our properties at all. Your constant complaining isn't helping anything, just pissing us off!

In fact, the online tantrums have had the opposite effect to your desires. We were set to reveal The Elder Scrolls VI: Ballmunch at E3 this year, but after the behaviour we've been tolerating, we're not revealing shit. I might even cancel it if you all don't shut the fuck up!"

Todd Howard. File photo.

We reached out to Todd Howard to ask if it was wise to wish death upon the fan base whose generated revenue directly pays his bills and received this response:

"It's a proven fact those childish losers will buy anything we produce regardless of our actions. In fact, why am I even responding to Era Error? You guys are the worst fucking grovelers in the comments of Bethesda's social posts. I'm not surprised no one reads or follows your publication. I've seen your satire, and it's fucking sad. You're on our notorious Blacklist now, losers!"

Well, it was worth it.

Time will only tell if Bethesda's fan base can change its tune quick enough before Bethesda's E3 conference this weekend to give any hope of more details on The Elder Scrolls VI: Ballmunch. Era Error will be snooping the comments sections in search of any potential clues or leaks before the big day.

UPDATE: Busted by Todd Howard: