Xbox One X Demolishes 30 FPS World Record

The Xbox One X (Short for Xbox One Exclusive**) is "The World's Most Powerful Console", and as such, I will begin today's article by listing all of the games that will be 'enhanced' by the Xbox One X, running at a staggering 30 FPS.

Without any further ado, I present the aforementioned catalogue:

  • A Plague Tail: Innocence - 4K, 30FPS
  • Anthem - 4K checkerboard, 30FPS, HDR
  • Agents of Mayhem - 30FPS
  • Assassin's Creed - Origins - 4K checkerboard, 30FPS, HDR
  • Crackdown 3 - 4K 30FPS HDR
  • Dishonored 2 - 4K, 30FPS
  • Fallout 4 - 4K, 30FPS
  • Farming Simulator 174K 30FPS
  • Final Fantasy 15 - 4K, HDR, 30FPS
  • For Honor - 4K, 30FPS
  • Fortnite - 4K,  HDR,  30FPS
  • Forza Horizon 3 - 4K, HDR, 30FPS
  • Gears of War 4 - 4K/30FPS
  • Middle-earth: Shadow of War - 4K, 30 FPS, HDR
  • Playerunknown's Battlegrounds - 4K, HDR, 30FPS
  • World of Tanks - 4K, HDR, 30FPS
This list might seem underwhelming to the hardcore gaming comunity, but for the average family dissapointment, Microsoft's shitty-as-fuck marketing campaign will probably sell a few consoles.

As you may have expected, Era Error sat down with 'Head of Xbox' Phil Spencer to discuss the future of Xbox.

EE: Good morning Phil, thanks for taking the time to speak to us. Please ignore the formwork on the wall, we had a little incident with the Y2K18 bug. 

PS: Thanks for having me here, too bad this 'office' is the worst office I've ever seen in my life. Are you guys even proper journalists? Surely no one is paying you to waste your miserable life away in this glorified dumpster fire!

EE: Haha, what a story Phil. So tell us, what is it about the Xbox One X that's going to revolutionise the gaming industry?

PS: Absolutelly nothing Mike! As you can gather from the name, the Xbox One X is just another iteration of the failing Xbox One brand. We here at Microsoft don't tremble at the sign of failure, we embrace it! You may have heard rumblings about certain goings on at other gaming corporations, *Cough, grubby, tubby, *cough, greed, *cough, but I can assure you, Microsoft have no associations with any 'gaming cults' what-so-ever. In fact, we are so dedicated to destroying our reputation that we will do just about anything to fuck up a good idea. So it is with the Xbox One X, we envision the end of console generations. I sincerely doubt Sony are going to announce the Playstation 5 any time soon, hell, that would be a good business decision and would serve to undermine our entire marketing strategy. I can't see that happening! *Laughs histerically* You see Mike, we've noticed lately that a lot of Xbox gamers are playing games that were released 3-4 years ago. Rather than come to the obvious conclusion that this is because we haven't released a good exclusive in over 25 years, I have deluded myself into thinking that new games are a waste of time. This is why we are proud to announce, for the very first time, here at Era Error HQ, exclusive to the Xbox One X, and all other gaming consoles, "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim VR Remastered Special Ultimate Gold Edition". That's right, just when you thought Bethesda's beefy nipples had been sucked dry, another version of Skyrim gets ready to shoot it's milky load all over your dissappointed face!

EE: Damn :/

Soon to be killed off Era Error employee Amanda is upset with today's interview

And so we conclude today's incoherent ramblings with a short lesson for the Era Error community. Just because you click on something doesn't mean the content will have anything to do with the title!

Have a great day everybody.

**The Xbox One X actually has no exclusives, I made this name up for comedic purposes