Bethesda accidentally 'teleport' to a reality where VR is actually good

In an attempt to milk Skyrim into a decrepit husk of a once vigorous and hearty cash-cow, Bethesda seem to believe they have 'teleported' to a dimension where virtual reality isn't a complete bucket of shit. To be fair, there are a lot of great things to be said about virtual reality, but half-hearted ports of brilliant games to the format is not one of them.

Since I've already mentioned Skyrim, let's start my unsavory rant with that.

We begin our journey with a game that focuses on an immense and explorable world, filled with NPC's, enemies, items, and a seemingly limitless list of things to do. So with this in mind, what do you think would make Skyrim VR a truly unique experience? Let me tell you what wouldn't. Teleporting around the map like a disabled Rick Sanchez would not service the immersion. Removing 90% of the enemies would not benefit the engrossment. Lowering the resolution to the point of rivalling a Nintendo hand-held would not help to encapsulate the submersion into an alternate reality. Everything that was amazing about the original game has been stripped back, revealing a clunky low-res artifice designed to squeeze that last drop of dilapidated beefy tit juice from it's mentally deficient fan-base.

Onto case number two, and perhaps the greatest miscalculation within Bethesda's "Re-hash the same old shit in VR" campaign. Doom VFR. Fuck, the cringe is strong with this one. I've already done this once so you get the point, but just quickly ... One of the best things about the 2016 Doom reboot is the smooth and fluidic movement. You never stand still, always pushing forward, strafing away from danger, and maneuvering your way through the environment. Well guess what!? In Doom VFR you TELEPORT your way around the map. I'm seeing a bit of a trend here. A fundamentally crucial aspect to Doom's success has been dissected from the VR incarnation. You just completely fucked the game! And with that in mind, there really isn't anything else to say about Doom VFR.

Doom VFR is Bethesda's latest attempt at disgracing the entire gaming community

Case 3, Fallout 4, Teleport, YOU FUCKED IT!

In all three of these examples, Bethesda have decided to take established titles and brutally fist fuck them until they submit to working in VR. But none of these games were made for VR. It's staggeringly obvious as to why these games won't be any good, and yet they have gone all in on the idea. If you want to make a good game for VR, design the game with VR in mind.

This generation of VR systems is not the one that takes off. It's clunky, it's not user friendly, it's inconvenient, it's uncomfortable, it's low res, movement is a clear issue. VR is fucken shit! Every iteration of VR has failed because it's not enjoyable. It's nice to kick back on the couch and pick up a controller, or sit at the desk with a mouse and keyboard. It's not fun to calibrate my whole fucken living area around shit technology that forces you to teleport around a fucken 3DS screen, all within the 'comfort' of wearing a piece of fuck on your head.

Let's see what some trusted companies who have no investment in the technology what-so-ever have to say about their maladaptive trash.

"From the moment you slip on PlayStation VR, the new Virtual Reality system for PlayStation 4, you'll experience games in an entirely new way. They'll become fucken shit!"

"Oculus is making it possible to experience anything, anywhere, through the power of virtual reality. Except that it only let's you experience a very limited amount of things in a tiny amount of locations."

"Vive is a first-of-its-kind virtual reality system. Except for the Oculus Rift which released one month earlier."

I will leave you with a question to ponder. Should gaming companies make shit technology and then lie to the consumer about it? We here at Era Error uncompromisingly say yes!