Super Nintendo World — A Comprehensive Walkthrough

An Era Error intern was smuggled through Japan's strict COVID restrictions to infiltrate Universal Studios Osaka and report on the currently closed Super Nintendo World first hand.

Nintendo first announced a partnership with Universal in 2015 to open a Nintendo themed precinct at the Osaka park, with plans to launch alongside the 2020 Japanese Olympics. Unfortunately COVID-19 occurred along with a bunch of other horrible crap that postponed proceedings until later in 2021, upsetting man-babies world wide. 

Super Nintendo World is just another one of our human rights taken away under the guise of COVID-19 and is disgusted. So much so, that we decided to shove our latest lemming intern inside an Xbox Series to smuggle him all the way to Japan, where he was received at Universal Osaka and presumed to be the first Xbox of any kind ever opened in the country. All so you can receive the most detailed report on the park the internet has to offer.
Intern #072 reveals his tremulous ride inside Super Nintendo World at Universal Japan.
"Next time I'm shipped off in an Xbox overseas, can I please have my inhaler?" EDITORS NOTE: No. "Luckily no one cared to open the Xbox and I was thrown out the back of the 1UP Factory (merchandising store) to be discarded. As soon as the workers finished their shift, my fun began."

"We're really going to crack Japan this time!" - Microsoft

"The 1UP factory is every Nintendo fan's wet dream with over-priced, branded garbage in abundance. I took particular attention to the Mushroom section which had a diverse range of flavours and divulged with a red Super Mushroom. Unfortunately nothing seemed to happen, but thankfully the Viagra flavoured Mushroom I also digested made me feel like a big man rather quickly."
"When I walked outside the store, I noticed that Princess Peach loved the bulge in my pants. Awkwardly at the same time I could also see Daisy, Rosalina and even Pauline salivating at the mouth while staring at my ridiculously large erection. I didn't have time for a Mushroom Kingdom gang-bang, (as much as Baby Bowser was insisting) I had my duty with to report on the park and report on the park I would."

"I jumped on top of the next available Bullet Bill to Bowser's Castle which unfortunately mutilated my crotch beyond repair from its burning hot exterior — don't let the princesses know! Things escalated quickly inside as a cluster-fuck of Mario Kart absurdities instantly tried to destroy me. I wasted no time, screeching away in a kart and mercilessly lobbed a Bob-Omb which blew up most of the castle, resulting in NUMEROUS casualties but allowed me to escape which justified the means."

"Next door was Yoshi's Adventure — a section dedicated for younger children. It must be incomplete as I was nearly crushed by a herd of giant, rampaging Yoshis! If I wasn't prayed on by Waluigi who mistook me as a vulnerable infant and smuggled me into his hideout, I'd be splattered everywhere like the 100 or so expendable Toads that I exploded in the last area."
"Wario joined Waluigi and I in the hideout which happened to be a replica of Super Mario Bros.' World 1-2. He demanded that I sucked on his belly button while Waluigi watched, in exchange for a Power Star. After about 20 minutes of hickeying, Wario finally shoved the star down my throat. Although a little smaller and not quite the form factor I was expecting, it sent a euphoric, electric-like sensation through my body!"

"The dubious pair then wanted me to help insert coins into their foreskins. I considered it, but could see the lanky versions of Mario and Luigi over at World 1-3 so I rushed over to cut some shapes with them. Those lunatics were stupidly trying to trigger some POW blocks that would kill everything in Super Nintendo World. I couldn't allow that to happen so I pulled out my NES Zapper and took matters into my own hands."

"Now I'm currently hiding out in Peach's castle suffering severe paranoia. Can someone at Era Error show me some support? A Luma is suggesting I shoot my way out of this nightmare and escape the country via a Launch Star in the Good Egg Galaxy. I think I'm going to do it!"

Suuuuure #072, use your NES zapper to kill everyone. It's common knowledge that Nintendo power-ups are some of the most potent narcotics in existence — you're clearly hallucinating from all of the Super Mushrooms and Power Stars that you ignorantly consumed. None of that actually happened.
Unfortunately employees need to at least be an editor to consume drugs while working for Era Error. Due to #072's indiscretions, we're not going to help him because he's fired. We wish him luck finding his way home without any funds or documentation.



Well I'll be.