Arcade Cabinet With 4-Digit High Scores Saves Industry


The popularity of video game arcades has re-surged thanks to an old, obsolete cabinet with the ability to input 4-Digit initials at its high score screen.

The brick and mortar video game arcade industry has been on the brink of extinction since the late 1990's, as retail video game systems began to offer an equal or superior experience in the comfort of users homes. Many arcade businesses ceased operations as a result.

Those that remained tried to buck their seemingly inevitable fate by offering alternative applications such as mainstream games such as Skee Ball and Air Hockey. Some installed cutting edge VR machines and others tried to appeal to a strictly hipster crowd by confining back to retro games and cabinets.

The modern day Hell.


 
However nothing seemed to provide a truly profitable solution to arcade owners woes, until just last week, when some juvenile delinquents accidentally stumbled upon an original 1982 Impregnator Arcade cabinet in a run-down establishment on the edge of a downtown precinct.


Borderline rotting corpse and owner of 'Archaic Arcade' Wally Walton shares his feel-good story of the year exclusively to Era Error.

"I was in my office checking the dates on the five quarters I had left from my career of stealing money from children, when I noticed someone was actually in my arcade. The person seemed like he was having fun too, so I immediately went to investigate."

"After 2 hours of trying to get out of my chair, I finally confronted the little shit. To my surprise there was now a crowd surrounding him as he played that ancient Impregnator game from the early 80's."

"I immediately knew something was wrong as no one has fun playing old video games so I told them all to get the fuck out."

 
"A week later when I remembered I owned an Arcade and forgot to lock the door, I returned to find thousands of loser kids playing Impregnator. They were all taking photos of themselves at the high score screen and laughing at the vulgar shit they wrote in the 4-digit initials as they posted it on the Instant-Gram. Apparently photos at the Impregnator cabinet are more popular than those of the Eiffel Tower and Egyptian pyramids. I just don't know what the fuck is wrong with people. I wish I was dead!"




 
Those that play the Impregnator cabinet say that the 4-Digit High Score Screen is a sensual experience that needs to be enjoyed by all.

"Knowing that a random person is going to witness the disgusting 4 letter word that I wrote and potentially be offended is such an empowering feeling that truly connects with my spirituality." - Billy Johnson.

"I'm a big feminist and I don't even care about Impregnator's incredibly sexist and offensive content as the satisfaction of writing the word cunt for all to see is just too overwhelming". - Ingrid Mathers



 
Other feminists and regular members of the community have also agreed to ignore Impregnator's blatantly inappropriate themes for today's world due to the positive benefits it offers. With other arcade owners lucky enough to still have an old cabinet lying around also seeing renewed financial success, it appears this story is truly a win/win for society.