Metroid Prime 4 Re-Announced As Mobile Exclusive

Nintendo has revealed that the next highly anticipated entry in Samus Aran's adventures will be held exclusively within the confines of a phone screen.

The news comes just days before this years The Game Awards, where Nintendo was expected to showcase Metroid Prime 4 gameplay footage for the first time. In an apparent move to drum up hype for the said reveal, the reaction was likely counter to what was intended.


The Press Release in question:

"Charge up your Arm Cannons (and phone batteries), Metroid Prime 4 is morphing exclusively to mobile devices!"



"The latest, highly anticipated 3D adventure in the Metroid universe will be the largest yet, and there's no larger install base on the planet to accommodate this than the phone market. Metroid is one of the most acclaimed series in video game history and we're excited to bring a fully featured, core title beyond our user base to entice newcomers to the world of Metroid Prime."

"The decision to move MP4 away from Switch to IOS & Android devices was not taken lightly, and to instill faith in the Nintendo community, we're also proud to announce that the team behind 2016's stellar 3DS title Metroid Prime: Federation Force will be at the helm of development, led by Kensuke Tanabe."

Metroid Prime 4 utilises the Federation Force engine from the 3DS.


Better yet, tune in to the 2018 Game Awards hosted by Geoff Keighley at 8PM EST/5PM PST to witness the first game-play trailer of Metroid Prime 4 in action. The intrusive and unresponsive touch screen controls will be removed from the footage to ensure clean vision at every instance. You won't want to miss it!"

As expected from literally every outlet other than Nintendo, the response was aggressively candid, prompting a swift reply from Nintendo America CEO Reggie Fils-Aime.

"I don't see what the problem is...


"It was only a couple of years ago when everyone was begging Nintendo to bring games to mobile devices. Well now we have. What the fuck do you ungrateful cunts want?"

"Our fans better not cry when we ignore the Switch again and port Metroid Prime Trilogy to the Tiger Electronics quality screens of the 3DS either, or I'll delay Mother 3 for another decade. Don't tempt me."

Blizzard Entertainment are now legally obliged to throw Nintendo another ancient Switch port in exchange for the accidental martyrdom, which has distracted the masses from the awful Diablo Mobile announcement at last month's Blizzcon.