Look How PATHETIC This Video Game Prototype Is!

We've covered bad games before, but this rushed prototype by a developer who endured unnecessarily inhumane working conditions induced by their publisher is absolutely fucking shit!

During the late 00's, iconic Japanese gaming companies engaged with Western studios to create modern renditions of their classic gaming catalogues. The East was struggling to grapple the complexities of high definition development at the time and sales in North America/Europe/Oceania were flourishing, encouraging Japanese publishers to outsource game development away from their motherland for the first time.

The switch in ideology spawned a boom that produced many outlandish prototypes over the years in the hope Japanese publishers would approve them for full production. It wasn't until several commissioned games critically and commercially bombed, that the Japanese finally realized Western takes on Eastern properties were complete dog-shit, triggering the return of development back to their internal studios.

One of those outlandish prototypes from the era was commissioned by Sega of Japan, asking small Australian developer Poop On Toast to create a cutting edge demo for their classic property Silver Sword. Normally a dream for many industry workers, this one came with a severe catch — a 2 week development cycle.


Poop On Toast's Logo

When Poop On Toast defied the odds and completed Silver Sword on time, Sega still rejected the idea, claiming that despite considering the impossible time frame, the prototype was still an embarrassing turd.

The project was destined to be left on the cutting room floor to fade into obscurity forever. Until several years later, when Sega decided to randomly ridicule Silver Sword as part of the company's 60th year celebrations, releasing the broken demo for free as a joke.

"To this day, I'm still in shock with how fucking crap and rushed the Silver Sword demo was. It's as if we asked someone from a disability program to come in and work on the project. If they were my own children, I'd have them put down.*laughs*" Said Yama Fucku, CEO of Sega Japan in 2012.

"Look at this shit. The graphics are abhorrent, the frame-rate is choppy, the art style looks like something straight out of 1996. The gameplay loop is actually kind of genius and could've been turned into something wonderful, but at that point Western devs were dead to us and we already planned to shut the studio down. Suck shit cunts. SEGA!!!! *hysteric laughter*"

A social media post from a Poop On Toast developer at the time paints a different perspective on the Silver Sword prototype.

"Those 2 weeks were literally the worst time of my life. The fine print in the contract meant that Sega had me by the balls and I had no choice but to complete the prototype or face financially crippling sanctions."

"I worked 22 hour days for 2 weeks straight to get that shit done. During that devotion, my wife left and took the kids, my diet was atrocious resulting in debilitating diabetes, I barely slept, I'm now addicted to meth and live on the street, I had to get both of arms amputated due to horrible posture coding and I'm blind from staring into the computer screens for too long. I'm now also dead too, all thanks to Sega's lovely business practices."

"The biggest kick in the balls is the mockery online all of these years later. It's as if I'm some fucking retard who didn't know how to do my job. The whole scenario is entirely on Sega, but that hasn't stopped gamers for attacking me online for what — in my opinion — is an insane effort considering the circumstances and should be respected, not ridiculed."

There are some passive aggressive undertones in the demo.

Yeah, well no asked for your opinion did they fuckwit? Maybe make a better prototype instead of whinging about your problems! I've never coded or developed a game before, but I bet I could do a better job than you did in just a single day! The world rightfully hates you for wasting such an awesome mega-corporation like Sega's time. 

I hope your career in the industry is ruined and someone runs you over when you're on your way home from a mundane job that you were going to kill yourself over anyway. The demo fucking sucked and under judicial gamer law that warrants death! You know what, I'm going to personally find you and snap your neck with my own bare hands because of that Silver Sword...

Woah, sorry about that. I think the combination of reading too many angry Reddit posts of other losers violently crying about nothing and pretending to play video games temporarily infected me with Mentally Deranged Gamer Disorder! It's spreading faster than COVID-19 and appears way more deadly.