Child Claims He Can Handle Wolfenstein 2's Violence


A suburban 8 year old boy who is a self proclaimed 'tough guy' has claimed to other kids in the street that he played Machine Game's latest gory blockbuster Wolfenstein 2 and witnessed the full impact of the extreme ultra violence while handling it like a champ. In what would be no small feat for such a presumed fragile and feeble mind, the rumour has also spread to his fellow schoolyard chums and as such, has elevated the boy to 'sick cunt' status amongst his peers.

The child had this to say:
"So while my Dad was in his bedroom fucking my Mum, I decided to take his copy of Wolfenstein 2 and stick it in his Playstation's pussy. I just magically figured out the parental control code so I was cool to play. Dude it was so crazy. There were like Nazi's and stuff and you control BlowJob Blastinherkuntz as you go around shooting the bad guys. There were guns and explosions like Call Of Duty and stuff. But yeah it was mad gory with guts and blood everywhere. It would totally scare anyone else my age if they dared to play it but I'm such a big, tough, bad dude that it didn't affect me at all. News spread to all my friend's MILF mothers that I had huge balls because I played the game so now they're all constantly calling me up and asking if I want to penetrate them. You gotta believe me guys. Everything I said is totally true!
We here at Era Error completely believe the 8 year old boy's story and decided to give him an opportunity to prove his doubters wrong and show everyone that he's the real deal bad boy of the town. We met with the child in his school's playground and offered him and his friend's candy if they would get in our white unmarked van and come to our office to look at some videos - to which of course they all unanimously agreed.

When they arrived we played some of the most fucked up, horribly intense and ultra graphic scenes from Wolfenstein 2: The New Collossus to the children so we could gauge the tough kid's reaction and see if his story plays true. We'll let the next few images paint some of the scenes for us:









A day after setting the kids free into a random city alleyway late in the stormy evening without calling anyone, we've been charged with several offenses and summoned to court by the children's parents which is absolutely absurd and uncalled for. Our lawyers will be fighting the allegations vigorously and we feel like we'll be completely in the clear on this one.