In game screenshot of Destiny 2's loot crate system
Jimothy Jenkins, a middle aged man residing in the heart of St Marys Australia, has today filed for bankruptcy following an unhealthy addiction to the DLC loot crate ("Bright Engram") system found within Destiny 2. Following it's release on September 6 2017, Destiny 2 has been met with praise and adulation from gamers and punters alike.
Mr Jenkins approached Era Error for some spare change, and we welcomed him into open arms with a warm smile and a notepad full of discourteous interview questions.
JJ: "Spare some change?"
Hahaha, Mr Jenkins would you mind answering a couple of questions for us?
JJ: "Only if that's a pack of winnie blues I see sticking out of your top pocket."
But of course Mr Jenkins, please help yourself. We were wondering if you could tell us about your experiences with Destiny 2?
JJ: "Well, after a bit of a shocker on the virtual dogs down at the pub, I decided to spend my next weekly paycheck on something a little less soul crushing. So I went to my local EB games and unknowingly paid full retail price on Destiny 2, oblivious to the fact that JB HI FI had it for 20 bucks less next door. I should've known something was fishy after that, but I didn't, I went straight home and whacked her right in the Xbox. After two and a half hours of installation and patch downloads, and half a case of Toohey's Old, I fired her up, and that's when I saw them, the Bright Engrams, they were beautiful! I'd heard about the Aurora Snow Armour from my mate at the pub, the rarest known item in the game! I had to have it. So I got out the old mastercard and started towards the Aurora. Surely it would only take a couple of spins and I could continue on with the game. Boy was I wrong, I couldn't stop, I needed that fucking armour! So anyways, long story short, I maxed out the credit card and started dipping into the emergency fund, next thing you know the house is mortgaged and I'm out here on the streets of Western Sydney."
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Have any of your friends or family tried to help you out with your situation?
JJ: "Nah mate nah, naturally the wife left me and took the kids with her, no biggie really they did my fucken head in that lot. My friends have all stuck by my side, but they can't do much to help me, what with their own multitude of addiction problems. I'm not doing much worse than most of them to be honest, at least I'm not married anymore! Mind if I pinch another dart mate?"
Alright mate but that's the last one, I've only got two left.
JJ: "Look fellas, I'm getting pretty tired I'm about ready to hit the bitumen. Any chance of getting a couple of dollars from you lads?"
I'm not going to give you any money mate, but if you'd like we can go for a walk and I'll buy you a sandwich.
JJ: "Get fucked cunt."
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