ARK: Survival Evolved release coincides with server issues across the globe

Studio Wildcard, the creative geniuses behind ARK: Combat Evolved, have spoken out regarding the strange contemporaneousness of server crashes across the globe, and the release of their delicious new game.

Lead community manager Jat made the following statement:

It is deeply disturbing to us that our game has somehow coincided with a global server outage, however, we would like to remind everyone that it is not our fault and we accept no responsibility for anything that we do. I would like to remind anybody who bought this game on early access that we have immediately announced a tasty new season pass for any of you who like paying for games more than once. We probably wont release much DLC for a while because frankly I don't give much of a fuck and I already have your money. I can't believe you people actually consistently buy into this, did you think that our game would be different just because we're an indie developer? That just means we share our money around with less people. You even bought the game before we were anywhere near finished with it, hell, it's not even finished now and you retards are already buying the season pass.

Jat's statement reinforces the notion that the gaming industry is alive and well, despite the consumer being relentlessly shit on from every possible angle. I for one welcome our video game publishing overlords.

Adding to the coincidences and controversies surrounding ARK: Halo Evolution, video game developer Bungie are raising a lawsuit against Wildcard Studio's, claiming that the Pachyrhinosaurus is a direct copy of Bungie's infamous ladies man "Master Chef". 343 Industries have added to the disputation, claiming that the rights to Master Chef are no longer in the hands of Bungie, following 343 Industries procurement of said Chef in 2007. Microsoft have made a statement declaring that the beloved video game Chef ultimately belongs to them. Network 10 Australia have arked the fuck up, claiming that MasterChef is undoubtedly their property. Franc Roddam hit back against Channel 10, explaining that he created the original series, and that the rights belong to him. The lawyers of the aforementioned companies have all made similar statements, outlining that resolution for this matter would be extremely timely and complex, extracting more expenditure than the original lawsuit would have generated.

Can you spot the difference between these two characters?

Aside from these issues, HALO: Survival Evolved raises one more point of contention amongst the gaming community. Should anyone invest their hard earned money into early access games? We here at Era Error uncompromisingly say yes! We believe that all gamers should be encouraged to save their weekly paycheck for games that are unfinished and broken, instead of wasting their money on a well made and polished game. Pre-orders and Kickstarters are another great way to get that bang for your buck, ensuring that you get exclusive access to a broken piece of shit years ahead of release.

Noah's Ark: Origins is out now on PC, Xbox One, and PS4. Good luck joining a game!