Nintendo Cross (NX), A Fantasy Platform


Delusion about Nintendo's platform (codenamed NX) is currently spreading faster and deforming more brains than the Zika virus. Join us as we add more aids to the fire.

DISCLAIMER: This article originally appeared during an 'Era' when we were known as NoClipp. Times have since changed. Our garbage content hasn't.

Every kid and their dog has an opinion on what NX could be. The dream is that Nintendo creates hybrid hardware which is capable of portability AND play on a television, but with Nintendo's track record of kamikaze hardware decisions, it seems unlikely and would require some wizardry.

Our assumption is hardware consisting of two forms a portable device and a home console, that connect together in a meaningful way. Software developed for NX will be cross compatible with both hardware, allowing the same games to be played portably or on a TV. This has been suggested by Nintendo themselves in the past through interviews documenting ways to circumvent issues that plagued both the WiiU and 3DS this generation, so it is feasible.

Nintendo logic is impossible to predict and completely absurd at the best of times, so I'm going to build from a grounded idea and transition into some far fetched bullshit as I'm a complete lunatic. Who knows, maybe "Shiggy" and "Kimi-Shimi" are having old "Bilbo' Trinen" from Nintendo Treehouse translate this pathetic story right now and are halting the Chinese slaves at Foxconn from production on the NX to incorporate my ideas... or maybe not.

My NX. Gets a little Far'fetched.


 
To begin, let's talk about form factor.

The Nintendo NX will indeed be two pieces of hardware, portable and also a console. SOLD SEPARATELY. Each piece of hardware is independently operated and does NOT require both devices together to function. If you're a console gamer, you'll only need to purchase a Home System. If you're a portable gamer, you'll only need to purchase the portable System.

The beauty of this set-up, is that there is only one eco-system of game software. If you buy a game digitally, it will be linked to your Nintendo account and played on either type of system at no extra cost. If you buy a physical copy from a store, it's just a matter of inserting the game to the desired device, and playing.

This is beneficial for the consumer and Nintendo. Software compatible with both form factors enables value and flexibility for the consumer, plus enables Nintendo to streamline development costs and remove software droughts. This is possible thanks to a number of things. For one, both the portable and home system use the same type of physical media; Game Cartridges (proprietry SD card). Both systems will harmonise with the same operating system, optimising development and allowing resource scalability. For example, the home console that has higher specs can operate a game at a higher resolution and graphical density, where the portable will use lower resolution and fidelity to maximise battery life.

The best part is that Cloud storage linked to your Nintendo account will help integrate the NX platform together. Let me put a scenario together in a real life sense. You've just bought a new NX game, and you've been playing it all night on your home console. Unbelievably, because your gaming habits are incredibly similar to a crack addict, it's now 8am and you need to get your smelly butt onto a train to work. You've found a seat next to another smelly freak — a junkie/alco who's also been up all night doing god knows what. You desperately need an escape from reality to get you through to your final stop 50 minutes away. Then you remembered, you're a member of the NX master race™!
You pull out your NX portable and pick up from the very last second you stopped because you pissed your pants.

 After miraculously making it through your work day you finally make it home, only to find your wife has left you because all you do is binge on dorito's, Mtn Dew and play COD NX Modern BLOPS Advance DLC Map Pack Hero 3 Warfare Edition all day. But you don't even care. You've just returned to the same fucking game save you've been playing the whole entire time! Fucking PWNage Megat0n!


Members of the NX Master Race™ will NOT deal with train scum.


 
There's no disputing that Nintendo's software history is the most decorated and vast in the industry. Discarding the Virtual Console format, Nintendo will introduce a service called "Legacy". It will aim to include every single First Party Nintendo title ever developed to eventually be available, with Second and Third Party games to be periodically introduced. A major feature of this service, is that each purchase will be tied to your Nintendo account, and playable on any current NX or future system. No re-purchase necessary. Once you own Super Mario Bros NES, you won't have to buy it another 200 times as much as the late, great, ruthless dictator Yamauchi would've wanted you to.

Online integration is finally being taken seriously. Much like Xbox Live or PSN, matchmaking will be achieved through your Nintendo Account. Friends lists, invites, parties and chats are all components which have been streamlined and a true part of the OS. It's no longer a matter of relying on a game to support these features on their own. All of your activity on Nintendo platforms will be  tied to your account instead of your system. Not just your purchases, but game saves, play-log, stats and all of your data.

The Legacy service will be infused with online multiplayer not capable in the glorious past. If a retro title included multi-player, it is now possible to invite or join friends in a multi-player session. When people join your session, they will take control of players 2,3,4 etc. as if they're sitting next to you, playing with their controllers connected to your console, only with an overlaid voice chat. Imagine playing Mario Kart 64 online with 3 other buddies, shouting verbal abuse and wishing everyone died! Or what about rage quitting your mate in a Contra 3 session as you don't give a fuck about him or his loser family and hope they all crumble into homeless trash because he didn't cover you properly against the third boss??? Isn't modern gaming glorious!


Meet charming players expressing themselves online with older titles.

There are also plans to translate and release older Japanese games. It's not unheralded either, as Sin and Punishment (N64) was translated and released on the Wii VC in the past. Other features, including save states will also appear. Nintendo is pushing content as its goal this generation, as their new software/hardware structure enables games to forever be available on future platforms once initially made available. Gimmick is no longer the name of the game.

It's also well known in the past that Nintendo have been reluctant to embrace certain online features to protect young children and their family oriented image. With the NX, this is set to change, as Parental Controls have been further integrated into every facet of the Operating System. This allows parents to have piece of mind for their children's safety online, while also allowing a feature rich online infrastructure for the rest of the community to enjoy.

At this point, I've lost interest in writing a coherent article, (This will no doubt become a trend in our disgraceful content) so here's a bunch of made up information to complete my fantasy.

Introducing the Nintendo X™ platform.

Couldn't be bothered to Photoshop either.


NINTENDO X CONSOLE
  • US$249.95
  • 1080p, 60FPS (Cheap Manufacturing due to aged Tech)
  • NX controller (discussed later)
  • Supports Wii controllers for Legacy gaming only
  • 500gb Internal HDD (No Optical Drive)
  • External HDD Capable
  • 4 USB 3.0 Slots (2 front to charge controllers)
  • Bluetooth
  • Wi-Fi
  • Ethernet port
  • NX Cartridge Slot
  • Super Mario Universe (NX Software)
  • 5 Legacy Games (Your Choice)

NINTENDO X PORTABLE
  • US$199.95
  • 720p multi-touch display
  • 32gb Internal HDD
  • SD Card Memory Support
  • Micro USB port (Charging, connect to PC)
  • Micro USB Cord
  • NX Cartridge Slot
  • Vivid Vibration/Rumble
  • Bluetooth
  • Wi-Fi/
  • Portable/Console Link to Utilise WiiU Legacy Mode
  • NX Console Controller Function
  • Pokemon Universe
  • 5 Legacy Games (Your Choice)

CONTROLLER
  • 4 Face buttons
  • 2 analogue shoulder buttons (click at full extension)
  • 2 click wheel shoulder buttons
  • 2 aligned analogue control sticks (click for button press)
  • D-Pad
  • +, -, home buttons (centre bottom)
  • Multi-Touch Trackpad *Console controller only*
  • Vivid Vibration/Rumble

$50 Cashback scheme. Register both console and portable to your Nintendo account within one year of launch.

LAUNCH TITLES
  • Super Mario Universe
  • Legend of Zelda: Fuck U
  • Pokemon Universe
  • Super Smash Bros X Edition
  • Pikmin 4
  • Duke Nukem 5 MeltDown
  • All EA Sports titles Which Are Exactly The Same Except For A New Number And Shitty Money Making Virtual Card Game
  • Max Payne 4: Shaved My Beard Off
  • Far Cry: Before Big Bang Theory Sheldon
  • Sonic The Hedgehog Reboot 2
  • COD: World War 1 RetroFuture
  • DOOM 4 with good boxart
  • Metroid Other Prime
  • Splat2n
  • F-Zero X.........2
  • 1083 Snowboarding
  • SSX Difficult
  • Mario Party X (Mario Party 11)
  • Wario Land XXX
  • Mario Kart X (Mario Kart 9)
  • Mortal Kombat X2
  • Punchout!! Vs Ronda Rousey
  • Donkey Kong Country: Rare Banana's
  • Father 4 (Spacebound)
  • Weird Japanese Nintendo Game that borders on incest porn that somehow is being released in west
  • Disaster: Week of Crisis
  • X Sports Vacation
  • Pilotwings Hijack
  • Fire Emblem Ending Destiny
  • Half Life 3
  • Alley Fighter 5: Alpha Super Mega Turbo Extreme Fast Insane 
  • Kirby Pink Bits
  • XenoSword XX
  • Luigi's Apartment
  • Adult Icarus
  • Star Fox -1
  • Yoshi's Toddler Foddler
  • Animal Crossing Same Game No.X
  • New Super Mario Bros. Fuck Not Fucking AGAIN ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!
  • ExciteTrike
  • DuckCunt
  • COD NX Modern BLOPS Advance DLC Map Pack Hero 3 Warfare Edition™
  • Halo 6
  • Metal Gear Solid 6 (Konami Pachinko Port)
  • Grand Theft Auto: Redemption
  • Final Fantasy iCloud
  • Pacman Ecstasy
  • Assassin's Creed 39.
  • Hitman: Barcode Scanner
  • Resistance Is Fucking Shit 4
  • Forza Motorsport: Turismo
  • Need For Speed: Paul Walker
  • Tiger Woods Pornstar Tour
  • John Cena's WWE 17
  • Guitar Fagget
  • Tom Clancy's Stop Using My Name I'm Fucking Dead
  • Gears Of War: Cover Like A Little Bitch
  • F4AR
  • Banjo Kazooie 3: Screws & Washers
  • Watch Dogs 2: Generic Press A to Hack Piece Of Shit
  • Saints Row Dildo Edition
  • Crash Bandicoot: Life's A Hoot
  • MegaMan Dr Wily's Willy
  • George Broussard's Name Checker
  • George Broussard's and Gabe Newell's How To Release A Video Game
  • An Actual Good Game That's Fun To Play And Was Worth Your Time And Money That Was Released After 2009


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